You Really Aren't A Bad Parent, I Promise...

Social media is pretty awesome. It allows people to connect in ways unimaginable to our ancestors. It gives a way for people to connect with long lost family, seek out like minded individuals, get information, or simply share cool stories. On Facebook I am a member of a Mamahood Chat group which for the most part is pretty great. It is an outlet for mothers to ask for help when they need it, ask for certain information, share cute stories of their little ones, and be understood. However, as part of this group there has been a reoccurring statement that I keep reading that has me disturbed.
The statement these mothers keep making is that they feel like bad mothers. I'm a mother of two daughters I COMPLETELY understand feeling like a bad mother. The problem though is that when I read that statement it's coming from situations entirely out of their control; emergency c-sections, not being able to breastfeed, baby has a fever, etc. This breaks my heart a little. Social media is awesome, but it's also a double edged sword. Because of the ease of access, people feel free to voice opinions, people post articles constantly; articles of studies done that PROVE co-sleeping is dangerous, but two seconds later one is posted that PROVES co-sleeping is actually more beneficial. The dress IS gold. The dress IS blue.
I think you catch my drift. My point is this, there will always be articles and professionals and friends and family and complete strangers that are going to try to tell you, you are doing everything wrong. Sometimes it will be out of love, but most of the time it won't be. Sometimes it will even be true (like the correct way to buckle a child in a car seat) but most of the time it won't be.
Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you gave birth natural, with an epidural, or c-section. You had a baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you choose to breastfeed or formula feed. You had a baby and you are feeding that baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you co-sleep, crib sleep, use the cry it out method, or rock your baby to sleep. You had a baby and you are giving that baby the sleep he/she needs, congratulations!
Mothers (and fathers if you are reading this), let's turn the tide of negativity and parents shaming that is saturating our lives right now. Take a moment and be proud of what you have accomplished. It is no easy task carrying another human being around in your stomach for months that seem unending. It IS a sacrifice and yes your whole world changes. It's okay to have those moments where all you want to do is crawl in bed, pull the covers over your head and never come out (I had one of those the other day). But we always come back. Somehow we pull ourselves together and fix dinner, yes it may be mac & cheese, but guess what, my daughters love when I make that for them! I can make them a healthy dinner with lots of greens tomorrow and they will still grow up healthy and strong.
I can promise you, you really are not as bad a parent, a father, a mother as you may think. You know why I can promise that? The very existence of that question in your mind proves otherwise because a truly bad mother would never even question if she was one to begin with.
Congratulate yourself today, be willing to recognize all the things you are doing to be the BEST mother in the world to your child today. Because I know that't what your child thinks of you. Because today, when I was thinking I was a bad mother, my three year old daughter came up to me and told me she loved me. And we all know that kids never lie.

Sincerely,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance