This morning my sister, cousin, and I decided we were going to pack up our kids (6 between the three of us all under the age of 4) and go running. My sister and cousin have been training for a half marathon they plan to run in August and while I had originally planned on running it with them I haven't actually been doing the running part of training...oops:) But I thought, no biggie, I have been exercising virtually every day, cardio and strength training so I figured I would be fine. Plus it was only going to be a 2 mile run and I have done running as exercise since high school so Bring It On!
So we start running and we are running on this beautiful trail that's right between a golf course and a river so the atmosphere and temperature are pretty perfect, which made it easy for me to start some inner dialogue, yes, that means talking to myself. A huge reason why I will always run, even if I'm not the fastest or greatest runner, is because while running I have received some of the best inspiration for me and my life.
As I'm running and yes, talking to myself, I notice my breathing getting a little out of sync, so I start to work on my breathing and begin saying, "I can do this, I can do this." Hold up a sec...I can do this? I let my mind mull that phrase over and decided it truly left a bitter taste in my mouth. Let me explain:
I can do it. It's such a common phrase people use to help motivate themselves, it's what we shout at people who are in competitions, "You can do it!" But aren't they already doing it? So isn't it obvious that they can do it, they ARE doing it. Again let me clarify; the reason I decided that phrase left a bad taste in my mouth was because it was lacking in action. When you tell yourself "I can do it" are you usually doing the thing that you are telling yourself you can do? Or are you using it to try to pump yourself up, but then end up half heartily doing the thing you said you could do?
I remember when my daughter was learning to walk, I would tell her mildly and coaxingly "you can do it, come on, you can do it" but when she actually took those first steps I freaked out. I smiled, I laughed, I waved my arms, my voice got all high and squeaky, my face beamed with pride and I shouted, "YOU'RE DOING IT!!!" Her face broke out into this huge smile, she laughed, and held her arms out at me, maybe she didn't know exactly what had just happened, but she knew she did something pretty great.
As I was running I didn't need to keep chanting, I can do it, I can do it, I was already doing it, so I already knew I could. So I stopped saying that and changed my words to "I'm Doing It!" Immediately my pace quickened, my breathing evened, I even felt a lift in my mood. Words either bring life or death, light or darkness, I was used to using a phrase that while the intention was good, it still promoted inaction, still allowed the possibility for failure. When I shifted and used a phrase that was positive, encouraging, and full of action I felt brighter, stronger, and happier.
Words have power and the sooner you learn this, the easier life will be. I challenge you today to really look at the words you are saying externally and the words you are saying internally. Look at your go to motivating statements and question them. Make sure they are actually promoting and moving you to action. Try out the phrase "I'm doing it" instead of "I can do it" and see if it makes any difference in the actions you actually take and the way you feel about yourself. You won't be disappointed!
Sincerely,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
You Really Aren't A Bad Parent, I Promise...
Social media is pretty awesome. It allows people to connect in ways unimaginable to our ancestors. It gives a way for people to connect with long lost family, seek out like minded individuals, get information, or simply share cool stories. On Facebook I am a member of a Mamahood Chat group which for the most part is pretty great. It is an outlet for mothers to ask for help when they need it, ask for certain information, share cute stories of their little ones, and be understood. However, as part of this group there has been a reoccurring statement that I keep reading that has me disturbed.
The statement these mothers keep making is that they feel like bad mothers. I'm a mother of two daughters I COMPLETELY understand feeling like a bad mother. The problem though is that when I read that statement it's coming from situations entirely out of their control; emergency c-sections, not being able to breastfeed, baby has a fever, etc. This breaks my heart a little. Social media is awesome, but it's also a double edged sword. Because of the ease of access, people feel free to voice opinions, people post articles constantly; articles of studies done that PROVE co-sleeping is dangerous, but two seconds later one is posted that PROVES co-sleeping is actually more beneficial. The dress IS gold. The dress IS blue.
I think you catch my drift. My point is this, there will always be articles and professionals and friends and family and complete strangers that are going to try to tell you, you are doing everything wrong. Sometimes it will be out of love, but most of the time it won't be. Sometimes it will even be true (like the correct way to buckle a child in a car seat) but most of the time it won't be.
Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you gave birth natural, with an epidural, or c-section. You had a baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you choose to breastfeed or formula feed. You had a baby and you are feeding that baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you co-sleep, crib sleep, use the cry it out method, or rock your baby to sleep. You had a baby and you are giving that baby the sleep he/she needs, congratulations!
Mothers (and fathers if you are reading this), let's turn the tide of negativity and parents shaming that is saturating our lives right now. Take a moment and be proud of what you have accomplished. It is no easy task carrying another human being around in your stomach for months that seem unending. It IS a sacrifice and yes your whole world changes. It's okay to have those moments where all you want to do is crawl in bed, pull the covers over your head and never come out (I had one of those the other day). But we always come back. Somehow we pull ourselves together and fix dinner, yes it may be mac & cheese, but guess what, my daughters love when I make that for them! I can make them a healthy dinner with lots of greens tomorrow and they will still grow up healthy and strong.
I can promise you, you really are not as bad a parent, a father, a mother as you may think. You know why I can promise that? The very existence of that question in your mind proves otherwise because a truly bad mother would never even question if she was one to begin with.
Congratulate yourself today, be willing to recognize all the things you are doing to be the BEST mother in the world to your child today. Because I know that't what your child thinks of you. Because today, when I was thinking I was a bad mother, my three year old daughter came up to me and told me she loved me. And we all know that kids never lie.
Sincerely,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance
The statement these mothers keep making is that they feel like bad mothers. I'm a mother of two daughters I COMPLETELY understand feeling like a bad mother. The problem though is that when I read that statement it's coming from situations entirely out of their control; emergency c-sections, not being able to breastfeed, baby has a fever, etc. This breaks my heart a little. Social media is awesome, but it's also a double edged sword. Because of the ease of access, people feel free to voice opinions, people post articles constantly; articles of studies done that PROVE co-sleeping is dangerous, but two seconds later one is posted that PROVES co-sleeping is actually more beneficial. The dress IS gold. The dress IS blue.
I think you catch my drift. My point is this, there will always be articles and professionals and friends and family and complete strangers that are going to try to tell you, you are doing everything wrong. Sometimes it will be out of love, but most of the time it won't be. Sometimes it will even be true (like the correct way to buckle a child in a car seat) but most of the time it won't be.
Here's the thing; it doesn't matter if you gave birth natural, with an epidural, or c-section. You had a baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you choose to breastfeed or formula feed. You had a baby and you are feeding that baby, congratulations! It doesn't matter if you co-sleep, crib sleep, use the cry it out method, or rock your baby to sleep. You had a baby and you are giving that baby the sleep he/she needs, congratulations!
Mothers (and fathers if you are reading this), let's turn the tide of negativity and parents shaming that is saturating our lives right now. Take a moment and be proud of what you have accomplished. It is no easy task carrying another human being around in your stomach for months that seem unending. It IS a sacrifice and yes your whole world changes. It's okay to have those moments where all you want to do is crawl in bed, pull the covers over your head and never come out (I had one of those the other day). But we always come back. Somehow we pull ourselves together and fix dinner, yes it may be mac & cheese, but guess what, my daughters love when I make that for them! I can make them a healthy dinner with lots of greens tomorrow and they will still grow up healthy and strong.
I can promise you, you really are not as bad a parent, a father, a mother as you may think. You know why I can promise that? The very existence of that question in your mind proves otherwise because a truly bad mother would never even question if she was one to begin with.
Congratulate yourself today, be willing to recognize all the things you are doing to be the BEST mother in the world to your child today. Because I know that't what your child thinks of you. Because today, when I was thinking I was a bad mother, my three year old daughter came up to me and told me she loved me. And we all know that kids never lie.
Sincerely,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Finding Joy while Cleaning Toilets
Yes, the title of this post is Finding Joy while Cleaning Toilets and yes, before today I would have laughed at anyone who told me that this was possible. Who in the world finds joy in cleaning toilets!? I mean the mere thought of the bazillions of germs that are associated with toilets is enough to give me the heeby geebies. I may be just a tad oversensitive to germs and the thought of germs, so sometimes I can barely handle my own, let alone other people's, so cleaning anything, especially bathrooms, nearly sends me into a panicked frenzy.
However, nearly 4 years ago I made a decision, a decision to become a mother. Yep, me the germ freak decided it was a good decision to have children. Now don't get me wrong, I love my two daughters more than anything else in this world, and actually they have helped me overcome a lot of my issues with germs. It's nearly impossible to be as paranoid as I used to be when you have poopy diapers to change, a toddler to potty train, which yes, sometimes involves poop smeared all over walls and beds. But enough of the gory details.
Most of the time I manage to quench my panic because come on, I have two daughters to take care of and a house to keep clean. Dishes, laundry, bedrooms, and yes, the dreaded bathrooms and I do like to be clean and organized so much of my time is devoted to these daily/weekly tasks. This also means, at least until today, that all that time I was devoting to my home, I dreaded. I might go so far as to say I hated it. It is hard to keep a spotless house when people need to eat and kids want to play with their toys and people need to use the bathrooms and they wear clothes and then those clothes need washed and on and on and on, the cycle is never ending! Which means, the housework is never ending, which means those dreaded germs are never ending as well.
Well, today was a cleaning day for me and when I say day, I mean day, all day. It was 9:30 PM when I started writing this, because I had finally finished cleaning, not even joking. Before I began this morning, a familiar dread and disgust had somehow already found its comfortable place in the bottom of my gut as if I had no choice if I was going to feel that way or not, it was a habit I had subconsciously committed to, yet for some reason, my conscious mind decided to take charge and show me exactly what was happening. I had to stop and really listen to the thoughts and feelings circulating through my brain and decide if those were of light or of darkness, of happiness or misery. They were obviously negative so I was a little shocked at myself; here I am living in a very nice three bedroom, two bathroom home with a two car garage with rent most people would envy and I was complaining that I had to then clean it!? Who did I think I was!?
Well, I knew who I wasn't, or who I didn't want to be, so as I started the cleaning process I began to express my gratitude for each thing I cleaned. I am so grateful for forks and spoons so I don't have to eat with my fingers. I am so glad I have a closet full of clothes so I get to wear a clean set each day. Man, it's raining today I am so grateful I have a sturdy roof over my head. Look how lucky my girls are to have multiple toys and books so they can have a variety to play with. Wow, I am going to get the best nights sleep on my amazing mattress. I am so grateful for my garage so my car is protected from the weather.
Seriously! How lucky am I to have all that!? How selfish had I been acting, to think I had the right to complain about having to clean my home when there are millions of people who don't even have one!? This shift in my thinking gave me such peace that as I headed to my bathroom I felt it, yep, you guessed it, joy. I felt joy. Because guess what!? I didn't have to traipse into the woods to do my business in a hole in the ground, and I didn't have to go into a stinky port a potty either. I have a bathroom. A bathroom I love and appreciate with a toilet that I am so grateful I get to clean. Germs...what germs? I have gratitude and joy, and joy is more powerful than any paranoia.
Today I challenge you to find the joy in cleaning your home, your room, your bathroom, or whatever you may be doing. Take the time to realize why you are grateful for that thing and I promise you your whole outlook will change and you will be filled with joy! I can't wait till it's time to clean my bathroom again ;)
Yours truly,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance
However, nearly 4 years ago I made a decision, a decision to become a mother. Yep, me the germ freak decided it was a good decision to have children. Now don't get me wrong, I love my two daughters more than anything else in this world, and actually they have helped me overcome a lot of my issues with germs. It's nearly impossible to be as paranoid as I used to be when you have poopy diapers to change, a toddler to potty train, which yes, sometimes involves poop smeared all over walls and beds. But enough of the gory details.
Most of the time I manage to quench my panic because come on, I have two daughters to take care of and a house to keep clean. Dishes, laundry, bedrooms, and yes, the dreaded bathrooms and I do like to be clean and organized so much of my time is devoted to these daily/weekly tasks. This also means, at least until today, that all that time I was devoting to my home, I dreaded. I might go so far as to say I hated it. It is hard to keep a spotless house when people need to eat and kids want to play with their toys and people need to use the bathrooms and they wear clothes and then those clothes need washed and on and on and on, the cycle is never ending! Which means, the housework is never ending, which means those dreaded germs are never ending as well.
Well, today was a cleaning day for me and when I say day, I mean day, all day. It was 9:30 PM when I started writing this, because I had finally finished cleaning, not even joking. Before I began this morning, a familiar dread and disgust had somehow already found its comfortable place in the bottom of my gut as if I had no choice if I was going to feel that way or not, it was a habit I had subconsciously committed to, yet for some reason, my conscious mind decided to take charge and show me exactly what was happening. I had to stop and really listen to the thoughts and feelings circulating through my brain and decide if those were of light or of darkness, of happiness or misery. They were obviously negative so I was a little shocked at myself; here I am living in a very nice three bedroom, two bathroom home with a two car garage with rent most people would envy and I was complaining that I had to then clean it!? Who did I think I was!?
Well, I knew who I wasn't, or who I didn't want to be, so as I started the cleaning process I began to express my gratitude for each thing I cleaned. I am so grateful for forks and spoons so I don't have to eat with my fingers. I am so glad I have a closet full of clothes so I get to wear a clean set each day. Man, it's raining today I am so grateful I have a sturdy roof over my head. Look how lucky my girls are to have multiple toys and books so they can have a variety to play with. Wow, I am going to get the best nights sleep on my amazing mattress. I am so grateful for my garage so my car is protected from the weather.
Seriously! How lucky am I to have all that!? How selfish had I been acting, to think I had the right to complain about having to clean my home when there are millions of people who don't even have one!? This shift in my thinking gave me such peace that as I headed to my bathroom I felt it, yep, you guessed it, joy. I felt joy. Because guess what!? I didn't have to traipse into the woods to do my business in a hole in the ground, and I didn't have to go into a stinky port a potty either. I have a bathroom. A bathroom I love and appreciate with a toilet that I am so grateful I get to clean. Germs...what germs? I have gratitude and joy, and joy is more powerful than any paranoia.
Today I challenge you to find the joy in cleaning your home, your room, your bathroom, or whatever you may be doing. Take the time to realize why you are grateful for that thing and I promise you your whole outlook will change and you will be filled with joy! I can't wait till it's time to clean my bathroom again ;)
Yours truly,
Aimee Lee
Embrace Your Brilliance
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